Later

Not today
because I can't -

I will sit in rough sand
Maybe lay down
a hat over my face

Rodeo Beach -
I will be
swallowed up in the
Marin Headlands

Later,
I will miss their laughter
I will mull over
regrets
try not to feel guilty
for mistakes
Because the guilt is for today
too alive today

Another time
maybe with gray hair
crow's feet
face bare of makeup,
but maybe happy
I will lay on that beach,
drag a finger through the rocky sand
savor solitude

Maybe happy.
Maybe.