Changes

I'm wondering
what you'd find
if you came by -
would you be
too surprised?

I wonder if my questions
would bother you
or if you'd have the answers
or if you'd try to answer,
even if you didn't know

I wonder after we talked for awhile,
just a little while
over a cup of coffee
or whatever you'd like,
what would you think
about the things I say?

I wonder if you would be patient
and love me anyway
not for what I used to be
or what you wish that I still was
but for this in-transition me,
the one who doesn't know
who I will be later

And I wonder if you will like
the later me

I want to keep all that we've shared -
you are so important;
if you came by, I would tell you that
and that I cannot stop
what I could not keep from starting.

Come by today
or tomorrow
Come next week
I will still be here
and I will need you
and treasure you
and hope that after our visit
you will come back again

The Music

Driving in
and the music
it helps
it helps a little

I'm rising and falling
on violin swells
like ocean breakers -
rising
and my heart rises -
falling;
the violin sings

Soothing -
I hear the deep-voiced horns
and the brassier ones
they blend
with piano, flutes, drum . . .
Sounds that I could never make
Sounds I want to hear

The music rises up around me,
protecting.
A voice -
with song, but no words.
There don't have to be words.
I have only feelings now anyway,
as I listen

The music washes over me,
And I'm caught up.
not here - I am with the music
It covers over,
heaing the wounded places.

Driving in -
that line of headlights
that lump in my stomach
that knowledge of things a mile ahead . . .
The music helps
just a little
for now.